There is much discussion on what keeps people safe, particularly in relation to bouncing back from difficult times or the simple grind of doing life.
Much discussion about self-esteem which has seen people often unwilling to set boundaries or highlight when people especially children behave badly or do poor work – it has been reduced to only saying good things and never the critical, always saying yes and never no, and has seen any reasonable concept of discipline being avoided.
Resiliency on the other hand is that component of one’s personality which allows you to engage fully with life, take the knocks, recognize your limits and accept limits and direction given by others and to process all ths in a manner which affirms your place in the world especially when that world is hostile to you.
Resiliency refers to the capacity of human beings to survive and thrive in the face of adversity.
• Three Sources of Resiliency
People around me I trust and who love me no matter what
People who set limits for me so I know when to stop before there is danger or trouble
People who show me how to do things right by the way they do things
People who want me to learn to do things on my own
People who help me when I am sick, in danger or need to learn
A person people can like or love
Glad to do nice things for others and show my concern
Respectful of myself and others
Willing to be responsible for what I do
Sure things will be all right
Talk to others about things that frighten or bother me
Find ways to solve problems I face
Control myself when I feel like doing something not right or dangerous
Figure out when it is a good time to talk to someone or to take action
Find someone to help me when I need it
Grotberg, E, (1995)