Since I last posted I have spent a couple of days in hospital as a result of some heart (yes I do have one!) pain which I endured while buying Bibles at the Bible Society Bookshop. God does have a sense of humour!
Not to be deterred I reacted as a fairly typical male and walked back to my car in Clarence Street, drove back to Randwick, went up to my office and deposited the Bibles, sent my assignment off by email so I wouldn’t be late, rang the doctor and walked the killometre to her surgery. It was she who organised the ambulance for the 200metres to POW!
What’s wrong with this story?
Not to put too fine a point on it – blokes.
Laying in bed at Hotel POW I reflected on a number of issues which may, just may have brought me to this point. They include:
Working two jobs
Getting involved in very stressful negotiations on behalf of others
Taking on two subjects of study
Anxiety about maintaining my Deacons lecence after December 2008
Anxiety about family health issues
No exercise or time out
Carrying the load without sharing it.
Sound familiar anybody?
It’s what we men are good at – matrydom in pursuit of the impossible – slaying dragons when the dragonss aren’t causing any one any grief.
Put it bluntly men die because we simply overload and rarely unload, support others with little support for ourselves, fulfilling the expectations of others (who ever they are) and have no idea about what to expect of ourselves. We set our selves up for failure and when we de we often fail to reflect and restructure but fall back intothe default position which means we cycle back to the same place some time in the future, often sooner than later.
My mother always said I was a slow learner but in this case I keep hearing Jesus words in John 5 to the man healed at the Sheep Gate, “See, you have been made well! Do not sin any more, so that nothing worse happens to you.”
Diligence and consientious effort is not a sin, but to overwork, over commit and to ignore your wellbeing and subsequently the wellbeing of others around you simply because you let it happen, is. It is a sin not to love yourself so that you can love others, not to say no when to say yes fails to fulfil the essence of the Two Great Commandments. And it is a sin we (in this case me) are called to identify and eradicate.
It is not a sin to have limits, to spend time with your family, friends, playing sport and just vegeing out no matter how much the world screams for you to save it from its self.
I guess this is a personal blog but it is also for all those who have ears to hear.